For a limited time only, saidshe.net, formerly chicky.net is offering bargain basement prices on freaky chats! You’ve seen them before, and you loved them, so here’s your chance to get yourself this fine collectable piece. We’ve slashed prices and these are ready to move! We’ll start you off with a simple introductory chat for just $0. You heard me right, just $0!

mattress217: asl? [Do not start a conversation like this. It just smacks of "ignorent bastard".]
silvadelle: all in my profile, which I’m assuming you didn’t read.
mattress217: u in ri?
silvadelle: Yes
mattress217: where?
silvadelle: Pawtucket, why?
mattress217: im in middlet0wn
mattress217: what d u d0? [Generally this is code for "what do you do on camera that will help me jack off in my basement bedroom?"]
silvadelle: Pharmacy, web design, video games. [And because I know this code, I play dumb and ignore it.]
mattress217: ur sexy
silvadelle: So I’ve been told.
mattress217: wanna see my sh0t [Shot of vodka? Tequila? Odds are it's neither of these.]
silvadelle: Not particularly.
mattress217: single?
silvadelle: Does it matter?
mattress217: u d0nt have fun?
silvadelle: If I tell you I am, you’ll just insist that you’re hot enough to get me to make a drive to Middletown to fuck your brains out, and if I tell you I’m not, you’ll completely ignore me. Thus I keep my status as “unknown”.
mattress217: w0uld u drive t0 middlet0wn? [My theory is true!]
silvadelle: Fuck no.
mattress217: l0l
silvadelle: I don’t go blowing strangers I meet off the net.
mattress217: bl0wing? [I like how he phrases it like a question, as though he really just wanted to share a nice meal. And maybe a simple handjob.]
mattress217: nice
mattress217: u g0t 0ther sh0ts 0f u?
silvadelle: They’re all on my homepage. Link is in the profile. I’m going to bed.

But wait! There’s more! We’ll throw in a second chat, this one on Wednesday night, at no additional charge! Now how much would you pay? (more…)

dave_vat: how are you today?
silvadelle: not bad, and yourself?
dave_vat: iam good thanks
dave_vat: busy today? [They always start off so normal.]
silvadelle: working this afternoon, but at the moment I’m just playing video games
dave_vat: cool, do u cam at all?
silvadelle: I have a cam, it overlooks my living room.
dave_vat: may i see you?
silvadelle: it’s on my homepage www.saidshe.net
dave_vat: can’t find it [Translation: put it on Yahoo! I don't want to have to read links!]
silvadelle: then you’re not reading.
dave_vat: got it
dave_vat: do i get to see your boobs at all?
silvadelle: Nope. Not that sort of cam.
dave_vat: oh
silvadelle: Not all webcams are porn.
dave_vat: lol
dave_vat: i don’t think boobs are porn
silvadelle: Well, not all webcams are nude. That better?
dave_vat: whatever

We get it. There are people on the internet who are willing to fuck your 14 year old daughter. There’s also people out there willing to fuck your 14 year old son. Do we really need what seems to be a damned near weekly series on catching these asshats? I don’t think I’d be quite as annoyed with the shows if it weren’t for the fact that they dwell almost exclusively on the men. Since they started doing this series about 3 months ago, there’s been maybe 1 segment devoted to telling people how to protect their children from internet perverts by not posting 300 question surveys about their personal and school information and sex lives, not letting your 12-year old daughter pose in a bikini on her webcam, and how they really shouldn’t be meeting strange people from the internet, because there’s a lot of social rejects like this guy, that chatted with me yesterday afternoon.

fifo_vs_lifo23: u got nice boobs
fifo_vs_lifo23: love them
fifo_vs_lifo23: do u show?
silvadelle: Nope
fifo_vs_lifo23: i am feeling so horny now
fifo_vs_lifo23: if u want…i can show u
silvadelle: Outgrew the “show everyone my tits” stage about 5 years ago.
fifo_vs_lifo23: which stage r u in now?
fifo_vs_lifo23:
silvadelle: The “fed up with people assuming webcams equal free porn” stage.

Or this guy, who just got me a couple of minutes ago:

stevo123 :: well do u have msn
silvadel :: I do, but we’re chatting here and that’s enough.
stevo123 :: u can add me?
stevo123 :: thats cool im pretty sure u might wanna consider checkin me out
stevo123 :: canadianhockeyicon@hotmail.com [So, um, does anyone wanna check him out?]
silvadel :: No thanks, no desire to watch webcams. They bore me.
stevo123 :: just do it;)
stevo123 :: canadianhockeyicon@hotmail.com
silvadel :: Um, no.
stevo123 :: im pretty sure ull regret it, just add me then see what u think of me
stevo123 :: i have pics and a cam
silvadel :: I don’t particularly care.
stevo123 :: u got a nice rack
silvadel :: So I’ve been told.
stevo123 :: ur fuckin hot thats why this is ridiculous
stevo123 :: i was hoping ud be down with chattin with a hockey player [Have hockey players been granted super-sexual powers in the time since I stopped having sex with them?]
silvadel :: I’ve dated hockey players. No difference between you and other guys.
stevo123 :: u like younger men
stevo123 :: ur a fuckin milf thats for sure [MILF? Fuck no.]
silvadel :: I like all men. Age is a number.
stevo123 :: lets see the rack ;), amazing
silvadel :: You are aware that this isn’t an adult site, correct?
stevo123 :: i could care less, i like what i see in front of me
silvadel :: Doesn’t give you the right to be an ass and ask for shows.

Yes, I was called a milf. *boggle* I guess milf has changed from “mother I’d like to fuck” to “generic older women I’d like to fuck”.

diegogarcia7777: hy
silvadelle: hi
diegogarcia7777: how are ya
silvadelle: tired, and you?
diegogarcia7777: same
diegogarcia7777: ??
silvadelle: hmm?
diegogarcia7777: why u so tired???

** mood swing launching in 2 minutes **

silvadelle: because i just got out of bed
diegogarcia7777: wild sex all nite/??
silvadelle: No, not that it’s any of your business.
diegogarcia7777: sure it is [Um, unless you're my gyno or husband, my sex life is off limits]
silvadelle: No, it’s not.

** Caution! Mood swing imminent! **

silvadelle: I don’t discuss my sex life with people I don’t know.
diegogarcia7777: why not
diegogarcia7777: it mite be exciting
silvadelle: I prefer to keep my private life private.
diegogarcia7777: it mite be exciting

** launch mood swing **

silvadelle: Listen fuckface, I’m not going to dicuss it with you, and unless you’re going to make an effort to be polite and have a conversation that doesn’t involve sex, then I’d appreciate if you’d just find some other chick to bother.
silvadelle: Got it?
diegogarcia7777: lol

** Target destroyed. **

From a random Englishman via Yahoo….

uk_4life_2005: Let me start by introducing myself , am a young handsome man and humble beveriour ability in making a long chain relationship with if u couild reply me back.
when i saw your profile on net i was been deceive by your beutiful face,i mean in that instant moment is like i was creat into a new world of love.because when i was a kid, how my mom explain honey to me it like paradise on earth,she futher explain the sweetnessand benefit of it nutrious ingredent,that is how i fill your face is like an wellcome development in my heart,sure i have`t meet you in life but your eye balls is the light of my day.it will be great chating with face like you.Well my yahoo address is uk_4life_2005@yahoo.com Hope to receive ur email soon.

There are no words.