For a limited time only, saidshe.net, formerly chicky.net is offering bargain basement prices on freaky chats! You’ve seen them before, and you loved them, so here’s your chance to get yourself this fine collectable piece. We’ve slashed prices and these are ready to move! We’ll start you off with a simple introductory chat for just $0. You heard me right, just $0!

mattress217: asl? [Do not start a conversation like this. It just smacks of "ignorent bastard".]
silvadelle: all in my profile, which I’m assuming you didn’t read.
mattress217: u in ri?
silvadelle: Yes
mattress217: where?
silvadelle: Pawtucket, why?
mattress217: im in middlet0wn
mattress217: what d u d0? [Generally this is code for "what do you do on camera that will help me jack off in my basement bedroom?"]
silvadelle: Pharmacy, web design, video games. [And because I know this code, I play dumb and ignore it.]
mattress217: ur sexy
silvadelle: So I’ve been told.
mattress217: wanna see my sh0t [Shot of vodka? Tequila? Odds are it's neither of these.]
silvadelle: Not particularly.
mattress217: single?
silvadelle: Does it matter?
mattress217: u d0nt have fun?
silvadelle: If I tell you I am, you’ll just insist that you’re hot enough to get me to make a drive to Middletown to fuck your brains out, and if I tell you I’m not, you’ll completely ignore me. Thus I keep my status as “unknown”.
mattress217: w0uld u drive t0 middlet0wn? [My theory is true!]
silvadelle: Fuck no.
mattress217: l0l
silvadelle: I don’t go blowing strangers I meet off the net.
mattress217: bl0wing? [I like how he phrases it like a question, as though he really just wanted to share a nice meal. And maybe a simple handjob.]
mattress217: nice
mattress217: u g0t 0ther sh0ts 0f u?
silvadelle: They’re all on my homepage. Link is in the profile. I’m going to bed.

But wait! There’s more! We’ll throw in a second chat, this one on Wednesday night, at no additional charge! Now how much would you pay? (more…)

It’s a beautifully sunny Friday morning - not too hot or humid, but rather just comfortably warm. I’m fully dressed for lounging at my desk for the next few hours. We’ve already gottern rid of 2 of the 4 things we put up on Freecycle (a sewing machine and a chair), and I’ve got a head that’s been slathered with red hair dye, and a fully stocked playlist of good tunes. Eddie made me a cup of coffee, which I drank in record time, and I’m pondering getting another one. This is weird, because I’m not a coffee drinker at all.

It was brought to my attention that Blogathon ‘06 is next weekend, so I signed up. And then I read that you’re now supposed to be posting every half hour rather than every hour, and since I have enough issues trying to come up with 24 posts in a day I decided to drop out because 48 posts in a day is insane.

I’m in the market for another tattoo. I’m looking into a couple of designs for the backs of my shoulders so that I can get Tigger covered up. I’m also looking for something to do in memory of my grandfather, since this September marks 10 years he’s been dead and we were very close. When I first said I was planning on doing something but didn’t have any idea of what to do, Eddie asked if there was any words of wisdom he gave me in life. Unfortunately, the only sage advice that my Pop-Pop ever gave me was “You never see a dead cat in a tree.” This doesn’t make for a good tattoo (remind me to post about the backstory to that someday, ok?). Fortunately, Pop was both a sailor and a firefighter, both of which offer a plethora of ideas on their own.

And just for shits and giggles, I present another moron on AIM.

justin9225js: hi
Sheleycoat: hi
justin9225js: how old r u
Sheleycoat: 29. We’ve been over this before.
justin9225js: yea i no
justin9225js: I am so so horny rite now
Sheleycoat: Good for you. Why does this concern me?
justin9225js: arent u a adult entertainer
Sheleycoat: Um, no, why would you get that idea?
justin9225js: i thought u were
Sheleycoat: No, I haven’t done anything like that in about 3 years. It bores me.
justin9225js: do u wanna have sex
Sheleycoat: Not at the moment since I’m sitting here with a head full of hair dye, but when I do, I’ll be sure to ask my incredibly well hung husband to give it to me.
justin9225js: o u married
Sheleycoat: Yes, we’ve been through all of this before.
justin9225js: o well
Sheleycoat: Your loss, not mine.

dave_vat: how are you today?
silvadelle: not bad, and yourself?
dave_vat: iam good thanks
dave_vat: busy today? [They always start off so normal.]
silvadelle: working this afternoon, but at the moment I’m just playing video games
dave_vat: cool, do u cam at all?
silvadelle: I have a cam, it overlooks my living room.
dave_vat: may i see you?
silvadelle: it’s on my homepage www.saidshe.net
dave_vat: can’t find it [Translation: put it on Yahoo! I don't want to have to read links!]
silvadelle: then you’re not reading.
dave_vat: got it
dave_vat: do i get to see your boobs at all?
silvadelle: Nope. Not that sort of cam.
dave_vat: oh
silvadelle: Not all webcams are porn.
dave_vat: lol
dave_vat: i don’t think boobs are porn
silvadelle: Well, not all webcams are nude. That better?
dave_vat: whatever

diegogarcia7777: hy
silvadelle: hi
diegogarcia7777: how are ya
silvadelle: tired, and you?
diegogarcia7777: same
diegogarcia7777: ??
silvadelle: hmm?
diegogarcia7777: why u so tired???

** mood swing launching in 2 minutes **

silvadelle: because i just got out of bed
diegogarcia7777: wild sex all nite/??
silvadelle: No, not that it’s any of your business.
diegogarcia7777: sure it is [Um, unless you're my gyno or husband, my sex life is off limits]
silvadelle: No, it’s not.

** Caution! Mood swing imminent! **

silvadelle: I don’t discuss my sex life with people I don’t know.
diegogarcia7777: why not
diegogarcia7777: it mite be exciting
silvadelle: I prefer to keep my private life private.
diegogarcia7777: it mite be exciting

** launch mood swing **

silvadelle: Listen fuckface, I’m not going to dicuss it with you, and unless you’re going to make an effort to be polite and have a conversation that doesn’t involve sex, then I’d appreciate if you’d just find some other chick to bother.
silvadelle: Got it?
diegogarcia7777: lol

** Target destroyed. **

d.2199@gmx.de: hello
(insert something witty): hi
d.2199@gmx.de: are you wearing a blue pjama? [I think this is the new version of "What are you wearing?"]
d.2199@gmx.de: +y
(insert something witty): yes
d.2199@gmx.de: cool i watch you’re cam [Thank you, Captain Obvious]
(insert something witty): figured that, no other way you’d know what I’m wearing
d.2199@gmx.de: where are you from?
(insert something witty): rhode island
d.2199@gmx.de: wanna open the pyjama? *gg* [Give him credit for getting right down to the nitty-gritty]
(insert something witty): nope. not that kind of cam.
d.2199@gmx.de: that’s a pity
(insert something witty): There’s plenty of people out there willing to get naked. I’m not one of them.
d.2199@gmx.de: which one do it. [So now I'm a directory of free porn?]
d.2199@gmx.de: ?
d.2199@gmx.de: watching you’re cam is
(insert something witty): I don’t know any of them, since I don’t chat with them. I’m not particularly interested in finding free webcam shows, or any webcam shows for that matter.
d.2199@gmx.de: i mean, watching you’re cam costs nothing right? [Unless I've got some secret way of stealing his billing information as he watches....]
(insert something witty): Right. I don’t charge.
d.2199@gmx.de:
d.2199@gmx.de: do youlike it if men watching you?
(insert something witty): I don’t care who watches me
d.2199@gmx.de: you are so cold [Ouch.]
(insert something witty): No, I just don’t consider my cams to be that interesting.
d.2199@gmx.de: i like your face
(insert something witty): thanks
d.2199@gmx.de: are you angry if i wank my dick? [I don't want to know what other parts he's capable of wanking.]
(insert something witty): No, but I don’t need to hear about it.
d.2199@gmx.de: *kuss3*
d.2199@gmx.de: how old are you?
(insert something witty): 29
d.2199@gmx.de: tired? [He must have seen me yawning]
(insert something witty): little bit
d.2199@gmx.de: are you chating with someone at the moment?
(insert something witty): nope, most of the people I normally chat with are at work right now
d.2199@gmx.de: are you alone at home? [Isn't this how we were always warned that STRANGERS would approach us? Asking if we were all alone?]
(insert something witty): Right now? Yes. I work afternoons this week.
d.2199@gmx.de: have you ever get naked in front of your cam?
(insert something witty): I’ve had my webcams for about 7 years now. I stopped doing the “get drunk and flash the camera” thing about 5 years ago.
d.2199@gmx.de: oh sweety, that’s a pity.
(insert something witty): Maybe disappointing for you, but really, I get nothing out of getting naked on cam. So I don’t do it.
d.2199@gmx.de: yeah, but you make the men happy and they can jerk off [Yes, it's all about the men, right?]
(insert something witty): I get nothing out of that.
d.2199@gmx.de: knuddel [Hmm?]
d.2199@gmx.de: you could stroke your vagina. than you have fun too *lol*
(insert something witty): I prefer to do that with my husband, not random desperate guys on the internet.
d.2199@gmx.de: hm…okay you suck your husbands dick in front oif the cam [Because if Eddie participates, then I'll jave no problem doing it for free.]
(insert something witty): No, I don’t do any of that in front of the cam.
(insert something witty): I prefer to keep my private life private.
d.2199@gmx.de: *heul*
d.2199@gmx.de: have you big or small boobs?
(insert something witty): What does it matter to you, you’ll never see them.
d.2199@gmx.de: have you msn girlfriends?
(insert something witty): I have a husband. That’s all I need.
d.2199@gmx.de: i wanna fuck you in you cute mouth right now :P;) [At this point, I figure until he starts being polite, I won't answer him.]
d.2199@gmx.de: do you like it to suck a big cock?
(insert something witty): Are you going to make polite conversation, or continue the pathetic attempts to get me to cyber you?
(insert something witty): Because honestly, you’re not that interesting, and your attempts are some of the most pathetic I’ve encountered.
d.2199@gmx.de: my english is not so good. a moment please [2 minutes pass while I assume he's running my text through Babelfish]
d.2199@gmx.de: ah. i understood. but i’m don’t interested in your opinion