It’s awful. Hell is the only place that could have spawned such hideous wallpaper.

Things you hear in our house that you might not hear in most other households.

• “Stop fucking my sheep!” - me to Eddie after he took my Easter lamb and started grinding on it
• “You’re just a farting machine tonight!”
• “How’s my fuzzy little man tonight?” - either of us to Skittles
• “You smell like an old man!” - me to Eddie wearing his Ben-Gay back patches
• “Look! It’s puckering at you!” - Don’t ask
• “Leave it alone, I’ll pop it myself.”
• “Watch out for the goblin over there…”
• “You’ve got a weasle in your pants…”
• Him: “Hey, can I use the last pregnancy test?”
  Me: “No.”
  Him: “But I might be pregnant!”

We’re bringing Skittles to Mom’s house tonight for a visit. It’s nice enough where I can put the harness on him and take him into the backyard to hop around - can’t do that here.

I should go get dressed. I came out here and started posting, and I’m all wet and I need to put some stuff in my hair.