I haven’t done this in a while…. here’s a recent analysis of what people are searching for when they find me.

• emo boys - I get several variations of this, ranging from just “emo boys” to “emo boys fucking” and everything in between.
• Blowjob follies - Don’t worry, we all have bad oral experiences.
• silvadel said she - Try silvadel.saidshe.net.
• chicky.net - it’s been gone for a year. Get with the times.
• things you dont say+ wedding - I’d suggest not saying something like “You left your underwear in my backseat” to the groom, but that’s just me.
• CAN YOU MAKE A LOT OF MONEY ON IFRIENDS - Yes, it’s possible.
• who kill Eddie - It was Dr. Frank N. Furter, in the freezer, with the chainsaw.
• “sex with a cat” - I don’t recommend it, you’ll annoy the cat and wind up hurt.
• knob cheese - As much as I like cheese, I won’t eat this one.
• free webcam girls that you tell what to do for no cost - How about you watch my cam and I tell you to go fuck yourself?
• “naughty chicky” and “digital vixen” - That would be me, but I don’t run that kind of site anymore.

Like omg, this is really horrible, and faggoty, and I think I might kill myself because I don’t want to be art of the human race anymore.

Got an hour to kill? This might just be the coolest video on the net right now. (1h, 8m, anime, flash, great for ADHD)

Prompted by a hit I got from someone searching for “Fun with Google — (you are Mine said she) Archive”, I think it’s a fine time to post another blurb about what sort of things people are searching for before ending up on my page. Before we get to the individual search terms, let me explain that the picture to the right is a screenshot of the top 20 Google searches I’ve gotten for the month of December showing that the majority of the hits I’ve gotten from them are from people looking for the WoW video I linked to a couple of weeks ago. There’s a lot of horny, easily-amused, gamer geeks out there I guess.

• childbirth porn - I always thought that traditionally, the porn came before the childbirth. *shrug*
• weasel porn - I suggest searching for furries. there’s bound to be a weasel among the cats, foxes, horses and wolves.
• online cam to cam fuckbuddies - In my experience, the whole cam-to-cam thing is laughable because it only shows how desparate some guy is. I’m sorry, but I really get nothing out of watching a 320px by 240px choppy video of some guy dripping white-hot coconuts from the veiny palm tree of lust.
• q tip test failed +piercing - Not such a weird phrase to search for when you consider that this is a popular home test to see if your body can handle a hood piercing. For the record, I’ve been told by a piercer that this isn’t necessarily the most accurate way of checking this out, and to get the best advice go see an actual piercer. Besides, cotton fuzz in the nether bits isn’t fun.
• rainbow monkey princess - Hmmm…. I might have to make a monkey like that.
• WATCHED ME PEE FOR DRUG TEST - You’re testing at the wrong place, moron.
• lesbian porn turns me on - You too, eh?
• noah wiley leaving er - Um, yeah, he left a while ago. Get with the program.

Mind you, these are just some of the stranger, one-time hits. I’ve gotten 5 or 6 hits this month from people looking for childbirth webcams and video clips (but not including “porn” in the search), lots of hits from people looking for for everyone’s favorite God-Warrior (hasn’t her 15 minutes of fame ended yet?), and beastiality of all kinds (sex with sheep or cats, and people looking for video footage of the man who died after having anal sex with a horse). One thing I’ve noticed is that while I get more hits from Google than any other search engine, almost all my porn-related search hits come from Yahoo, and most of them are searches for webcam porn. On a scarier note, of the webcam related things searches I get, most of it is from people searching for teen cams.

Google Maps meets sex offenders - kind of creepy, kind of facinating. And no, there were none near me that showed up on the map.