For a limited time only, saidshe.net, formerly chicky.net is offering bargain basement prices on freaky chats! You’ve seen them before, and you loved them, so here’s your chance to get yourself this fine collectable piece. We’ve slashed prices and these are ready to move! We’ll start you off with a simple introductory chat for just $0. You heard me right, just $0!

mattress217: asl? [Do not start a conversation like this. It just smacks of "ignorent bastard".]
silvadelle: all in my profile, which I’m assuming you didn’t read.
mattress217: u in ri?
silvadelle: Yes
mattress217: where?
silvadelle: Pawtucket, why?
mattress217: im in middlet0wn
mattress217: what d u d0? [Generally this is code for "what do you do on camera that will help me jack off in my basement bedroom?"]
silvadelle: Pharmacy, web design, video games. [And because I know this code, I play dumb and ignore it.]
mattress217: ur sexy
silvadelle: So I’ve been told.
mattress217: wanna see my sh0t [Shot of vodka? Tequila? Odds are it's neither of these.]
silvadelle: Not particularly.
mattress217: single?
silvadelle: Does it matter?
mattress217: u d0nt have fun?
silvadelle: If I tell you I am, you’ll just insist that you’re hot enough to get me to make a drive to Middletown to fuck your brains out, and if I tell you I’m not, you’ll completely ignore me. Thus I keep my status as “unknown”.
mattress217: w0uld u drive t0 middlet0wn? [My theory is true!]
silvadelle: Fuck no.
mattress217: l0l
silvadelle: I don’t go blowing strangers I meet off the net.
mattress217: bl0wing? [I like how he phrases it like a question, as though he really just wanted to share a nice meal. And maybe a simple handjob.]
mattress217: nice
mattress217: u g0t 0ther sh0ts 0f u?
silvadelle: They’re all on my homepage. Link is in the profile. I’m going to bed.

But wait! There’s more! We’ll throw in a second chat, this one on Wednesday night, at no additional charge! Now how much would you pay? (more…)

It’s been too hot lately. It’s crazy-hot. It sucks. We have the a/c in the spare room and the door to the kitchen blocked off with a sheet, and it’s still around 80F in the living room (normally it’s around 70F). It feels like half of the a/c has died on us, which is to be expected since it’s about 6 years old.

The wedding we went to last weekend was pretty fun. I did the Electric Slide, and drank a couple of alcoholic beverages. The table we sat at was made up of WalMart people, most of whom also play WoW, so we all sat there dorking it up for the most part. The happy couple, who met on WoW, arranged to have the announcement of the bridal party done with the WoW theme playing. A good night for all involved.

I left work 2 hours early on Sunday because it was completely dead and I was working with a RPh that I just can’t stand. Had there been any other one on duty that day I would have stuck around regardless of how un-busy it was (hell, getting Sunday pay for doing nothing? I’ll take it.), but I honestly can’t stand the pretentious asshole. The rest of this work week has just flown by.

My video card seems to be dying a slow and painful death. Every now and then my whole screen will go fuzzy, like someone’s taken a screenshot and applied a 2px Gaussian blur filter to it. It sucks. Logging into FFXI is completely pointless, because the graphics are unbelievably choppy for me now (WoW works fine though). Speaking of WoW, I just spent the last 3 days working on the guild’s website, the plans for which were laid down at the wedding, naturally. After several complete cockups (such as me using the wrong character name a few times), it’s running fine.

I’ve had an assortment of morons chat me up this week. So far, this is my favorite, which starts right after he started requesting the I log into MSN and add him so I could watch his cam (a favorite way for the guys trolling a particular non-adult camsite to bypass the “no adult” content rule):

saadsaad :: adame.d@menara.ma
saadsaad :: i watch u now [Look! Up in the sky! It's Captain Obvious!]
silvadel :: I know you are, because you’re chatting with me.
saadsaad :: add me and block me if u don’t like it
silvadel :: Um, no. Like I said, I don’t watch cams. I have no desire to add you just to look at you. [Waste of my time]
silvadel :: Deal with it.
saadsaad :: okay
saadsaad :: u are so sexy i see ure pic in ure website [I'm sure he's referring to the 4 year old webcam archives]
silvadel :: Yes, so what?
saadsaad :: u excite me
saadsaad :: add me plz
silvadel :: No.
saadsaad :: :o(
saadsaad :: plz [Desperate much?]
silvadel :: No.
saadsaad :: plz plz plz plz plz [Super desperate apparently]
silvadel :: No.
saadsaad :: i have a big one
silvadel :: I don’t care. I’ve seen cocks before.
saadsaad :: but u never seen like mine [Good lord! A massive cock! I'll never be able to control myself!]
silvadel :: Listen you stupid fucker, I don’t watch webcams. Get over it.
saadsaad :: i want to fuck u bitch [Yeah, that's a line that will make the girls swoon!]
silvadel :: If I want sex, I can get it just fine.
saadsaad :: okay

Rent gets paid this week, and once we see how much money we’ve got, we’ll determine whether or not we’ll be buying anniversary presents next week or the week after (anniversary is next Thursday). Eddie still has no idea what to get me; in my opinion, as long as it’s not any more jewelry (which I most likely won’t wear) anything would be fine. He did make a reference to setting me loose in a Sanrio store, but alas, there isn’t one nearby.

We get it. There are people on the internet who are willing to fuck your 14 year old daughter. There’s also people out there willing to fuck your 14 year old son. Do we really need what seems to be a damned near weekly series on catching these asshats? I don’t think I’d be quite as annoyed with the shows if it weren’t for the fact that they dwell almost exclusively on the men. Since they started doing this series about 3 months ago, there’s been maybe 1 segment devoted to telling people how to protect their children from internet perverts by not posting 300 question surveys about their personal and school information and sex lives, not letting your 12-year old daughter pose in a bikini on her webcam, and how they really shouldn’t be meeting strange people from the internet, because there’s a lot of social rejects like this guy, that chatted with me yesterday afternoon.

fifo_vs_lifo23: u got nice boobs
fifo_vs_lifo23: love them
fifo_vs_lifo23: do u show?
silvadelle: Nope
fifo_vs_lifo23: i am feeling so horny now
fifo_vs_lifo23: if u want…i can show u
silvadelle: Outgrew the “show everyone my tits” stage about 5 years ago.
fifo_vs_lifo23: which stage r u in now?
fifo_vs_lifo23:
silvadelle: The “fed up with people assuming webcams equal free porn” stage.

Or this guy, who just got me a couple of minutes ago:

stevo123 :: well do u have msn
silvadel :: I do, but we’re chatting here and that’s enough.
stevo123 :: u can add me?
stevo123 :: thats cool im pretty sure u might wanna consider checkin me out
stevo123 :: canadianhockeyicon@hotmail.com [So, um, does anyone wanna check him out?]
silvadel :: No thanks, no desire to watch webcams. They bore me.
stevo123 :: just do it;)
stevo123 :: canadianhockeyicon@hotmail.com
silvadel :: Um, no.
stevo123 :: im pretty sure ull regret it, just add me then see what u think of me
stevo123 :: i have pics and a cam
silvadel :: I don’t particularly care.
stevo123 :: u got a nice rack
silvadel :: So I’ve been told.
stevo123 :: ur fuckin hot thats why this is ridiculous
stevo123 :: i was hoping ud be down with chattin with a hockey player [Have hockey players been granted super-sexual powers in the time since I stopped having sex with them?]
silvadel :: I’ve dated hockey players. No difference between you and other guys.
stevo123 :: u like younger men
stevo123 :: ur a fuckin milf thats for sure [MILF? Fuck no.]
silvadel :: I like all men. Age is a number.
stevo123 :: lets see the rack ;), amazing
silvadel :: You are aware that this isn’t an adult site, correct?
stevo123 :: i could care less, i like what i see in front of me
silvadel :: Doesn’t give you the right to be an ass and ask for shows.

Yes, I was called a milf. *boggle* I guess milf has changed from “mother I’d like to fuck” to “generic older women I’d like to fuck”.

diegogarcia7777: hy
silvadelle: hi
diegogarcia7777: how are ya
silvadelle: tired, and you?
diegogarcia7777: same
diegogarcia7777: ??
silvadelle: hmm?
diegogarcia7777: why u so tired???

** mood swing launching in 2 minutes **

silvadelle: because i just got out of bed
diegogarcia7777: wild sex all nite/??
silvadelle: No, not that it’s any of your business.
diegogarcia7777: sure it is [Um, unless you're my gyno or husband, my sex life is off limits]
silvadelle: No, it’s not.

** Caution! Mood swing imminent! **

silvadelle: I don’t discuss my sex life with people I don’t know.
diegogarcia7777: why not
diegogarcia7777: it mite be exciting
silvadelle: I prefer to keep my private life private.
diegogarcia7777: it mite be exciting

** launch mood swing **

silvadelle: Listen fuckface, I’m not going to dicuss it with you, and unless you’re going to make an effort to be polite and have a conversation that doesn’t involve sex, then I’d appreciate if you’d just find some other chick to bother.
silvadelle: Got it?
diegogarcia7777: lol

** Target destroyed. **

d.2199@gmx.de: hello
(insert something witty): hi
d.2199@gmx.de: are you wearing a blue pjama? [I think this is the new version of "What are you wearing?"]
d.2199@gmx.de: +y
(insert something witty): yes
d.2199@gmx.de: cool i watch you’re cam [Thank you, Captain Obvious]
(insert something witty): figured that, no other way you’d know what I’m wearing
d.2199@gmx.de: where are you from?
(insert something witty): rhode island
d.2199@gmx.de: wanna open the pyjama? *gg* [Give him credit for getting right down to the nitty-gritty]
(insert something witty): nope. not that kind of cam.
d.2199@gmx.de: that’s a pity
(insert something witty): There’s plenty of people out there willing to get naked. I’m not one of them.
d.2199@gmx.de: which one do it. [So now I'm a directory of free porn?]
d.2199@gmx.de: ?
d.2199@gmx.de: watching you’re cam is
(insert something witty): I don’t know any of them, since I don’t chat with them. I’m not particularly interested in finding free webcam shows, or any webcam shows for that matter.
d.2199@gmx.de: i mean, watching you’re cam costs nothing right? [Unless I've got some secret way of stealing his billing information as he watches....]
(insert something witty): Right. I don’t charge.
d.2199@gmx.de:
d.2199@gmx.de: do youlike it if men watching you?
(insert something witty): I don’t care who watches me
d.2199@gmx.de: you are so cold [Ouch.]
(insert something witty): No, I just don’t consider my cams to be that interesting.
d.2199@gmx.de: i like your face
(insert something witty): thanks
d.2199@gmx.de: are you angry if i wank my dick? [I don't want to know what other parts he's capable of wanking.]
(insert something witty): No, but I don’t need to hear about it.
d.2199@gmx.de: *kuss3*
d.2199@gmx.de: how old are you?
(insert something witty): 29
d.2199@gmx.de: tired? [He must have seen me yawning]
(insert something witty): little bit
d.2199@gmx.de: are you chating with someone at the moment?
(insert something witty): nope, most of the people I normally chat with are at work right now
d.2199@gmx.de: are you alone at home? [Isn't this how we were always warned that STRANGERS would approach us? Asking if we were all alone?]
(insert something witty): Right now? Yes. I work afternoons this week.
d.2199@gmx.de: have you ever get naked in front of your cam?
(insert something witty): I’ve had my webcams for about 7 years now. I stopped doing the “get drunk and flash the camera” thing about 5 years ago.
d.2199@gmx.de: oh sweety, that’s a pity.
(insert something witty): Maybe disappointing for you, but really, I get nothing out of getting naked on cam. So I don’t do it.
d.2199@gmx.de: yeah, but you make the men happy and they can jerk off [Yes, it's all about the men, right?]
(insert something witty): I get nothing out of that.
d.2199@gmx.de: knuddel [Hmm?]
d.2199@gmx.de: you could stroke your vagina. than you have fun too *lol*
(insert something witty): I prefer to do that with my husband, not random desperate guys on the internet.
d.2199@gmx.de: hm…okay you suck your husbands dick in front oif the cam [Because if Eddie participates, then I'll jave no problem doing it for free.]
(insert something witty): No, I don’t do any of that in front of the cam.
(insert something witty): I prefer to keep my private life private.
d.2199@gmx.de: *heul*
d.2199@gmx.de: have you big or small boobs?
(insert something witty): What does it matter to you, you’ll never see them.
d.2199@gmx.de: have you msn girlfriends?
(insert something witty): I have a husband. That’s all I need.
d.2199@gmx.de: i wanna fuck you in you cute mouth right now :P;) [At this point, I figure until he starts being polite, I won't answer him.]
d.2199@gmx.de: do you like it to suck a big cock?
(insert something witty): Are you going to make polite conversation, or continue the pathetic attempts to get me to cyber you?
(insert something witty): Because honestly, you’re not that interesting, and your attempts are some of the most pathetic I’ve encountered.
d.2199@gmx.de: my english is not so good. a moment please [2 minutes pass while I assume he's running my text through Babelfish]
d.2199@gmx.de: ah. i understood. but i’m don’t interested in your opinion