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Here’s something for your Amazon wishlist…. (not really work safe)
“Sometimes I hold it in front of my face, dripping with KY and bung-sauce and I call it a bastard. Then I punch myself in the mouth with it, cry out like the sissy I am, and pretend that I’m being gut-plunged by King Kong.
Then after I spray salty satisfaction, hot as my shame, all over the little teapot cozies I decorate my room with, I pretend that my assailant beats me unconscious with his stinky fist.”
Ya know, I’d be tempted to add it to my Amazon wishlist just for shits and giggles, but I’ve got the type of friends who would buy it for me, for the exact same reason.
