“To whom it may concern/ Attn: Kim - Marketing DeptI am trying to reach a woman named Kim, who works in yourMarketing Department. I met her this past Sunday (11/25/01) in Boston at a sports bar, and I am asking for your help in trying to reach her. I can only describe her as 25-29 years old, 5′3-5′5, shoulder length brown hair, brown eyes, attractive, and of Italian or Greek decent. I realize this is an odd request, and an odd forum to begin my search, but this is the only way that I can think of that I might be able to reach her again. I am hoping thatbeginning with you, and although quite a long-shot, this message will ultimately end-up in her email in-box. I only ask that you forward this email to someone whom you may think can help me. Again, my ultimate goal is that this email, after being forwarded through several departments & people, will eventually reach her.

Please take a moment to consider my request, and help me reach her if you can. The only other information I have is that she travels to Albany NY on the corporate jet, and frequently is involved with [bank name] functions that Red Sox players Pedro Martinez & Nomar Garciaparra attend. Thank you for your help. Again, all I ask is that you forward this message to the next department or appropriate person who may be able to help me. Kim: It was nice taking to you Sunday. I hope we meet again. Contact me at the email address listed below if this long-shot message reaches you.Sincerely,[name and email withheld to protect my ass]“

This man has balls of solid brass.