Our store sells baby cologne. Are there really babies that smell that bad?

Manbabies.com
This is just too freaky.

Robin recently made a post about how according to the fine folks over here, us childfree people are “stunted souls”. Hmm. I was unaware that the fact that I choose not to have children - and yes, having children is a choice, not a requirement in life - had any bearing on my soul. I thought that I was just being smart enough to know better than to do that to myself and any child I gave birth to.

But let’s go back to the beginning and find out exactly why I’m childfree, shall we?

Back in either 1999 or 2000, when I was still living in Warwick with Chris, my period decided to show up a record 20 days late. To be honest, after the first year or so we never really played it safe when it came to sex; he (and the other 2 guys before him) was a virgin and inexperienced when we first got together, so it was a pretty good assumption that the two of us were STD-free, and we relied on him pulling out almost exclusively as birth control. Not the smartest thing in the world I’ve ever done, eh? Up until that point where I had to sit down and tell him I was late that month, we’d never really discussed the topic of what we’d do in the event of an “accident”. I knew that he wanted kids eventually, and I was of the belief that I’d have them at some point because that’s what you did: married, settled down, had a kid or 3, etc. But there was a time during those 20 days when I was looking through my Livejournal to find out when I last mentioned having cramps or being completely PMS-bitchy when it hit me that I didn’t want to have a child. I didn’t want to have one then, and I was pretty certain that I didn’t want one ever.

It wasn’t just a matter of not being ready for a child in my early 20’s. It was the knowledge that I would probably never be able to adequately care for a child. I was working for the bank, nights, for about $10/hour, rarely saw Chris because he was working days, and ate one meal a day. We had a couple of cats and a fridge stocked full of beer, and a house messier than what Eddie and I are in right now. That wasn’t a life that I wanted to bring a child into. Sure, I know that a lot of people will say that things change when you have a kid, and that even those who may not want kids change their mind when they turn up pregnant, but there’s no guarantee that I’d change, and so rather than have kids and hope to change for the better, I made the decision not to have them. I’d rather be irresponsible in my life the way we are now than attempt to be the responsible parent, fail, and resent my kids.

It wasn’t until 2001 that I discovered that there’s a name for people who choose not to have kids - childfree. Granted, my knowledge of other childfree people at the time was limited to perhaps the worst example of the lifestyle: the CF community over on Livejournal, largely known for its drama and wank. Over time I’ve found other people with the same childfree outlook, and we all seem to have the same problem of being scorned for our choice not to have kids. We’re considered selfish, self-centered, child-hating people, and told we’re wrong.

I’m not childfree to piss you off. You, your kids, your nieces, nephews, siblings, and cousins - weighed into my decision NOT AT ALL. My choice to not have kids is not to be taken as a personal affront to your choice to have them. It’s just a choice that I made. What were your reasons for having kids? You like them? You couldn’t see your life without them? The condom broke? That’s your choice, and I respect that, and I would expect that you would respect my choice not to have them. I’m not childfree because I want to put all the children of the world into a bag and drown them in the Arctic Ocean. I don’t care if there are children in the world. I don’t care if I come across them in my daily life. I just don’t want any of my own.

I’m not childfree because I want to make it illegal for you to have children. I don’t want to sterilize you, or get you fired, or take away your welfare, or otherwise compel you to not have children. Have all you want, just don’t expect me to start popping them out. I’m not childfree because I hate people with children. Disliking whining and temper tantrums is not the sole terrain of the childfree.

I’m not childfree because my mother was a self-centered bitch, nor because my step mother was a plain old vanilla bitch, nor because I aided in the raising of my youngest siblings; I’m not rebelling against stupid parents. My mother cared a great deal about our welfare and was very involved in our lives. I didn’t raise my younger sister other than the occasional night of babysitting when I got older.

I’m not childfree because I’m extraordinarily selfish. My desire to live a life without kids is nearly identical to the desire you have to live yours with them. You are no less selfish than I am. In fact, if you ask most parents why they have children, you’ll get answers of “I want to carry on the family name,” or “We have good genes,” and “So we have someone to take care of us when we grow old.” Hmm… those seem to be some pretty selfish reasons to have a child, don’t you think? I’m selfish because I don’t like to spend money on things that I can’t use, like diapers and formula and cute little outfits from Baby Gap.

I’m not childfree because I hated my childhood, or all of my childhood friends, or all of the other people my age. I had an average childhood, wasn’t touched by an uncle,neighbor, or babysitter, and got good grades in school. I had enough friends to amuse myself, but I didn’t require that I be surrounded by them to be happy. And I’m not childfree because I can’t find someone crazy enough to fuck me. On the contrary - my husband is as childfree as I am and we fuck on a regular basis.

That brings us to this point. I was the only one in my class who didn’t have kids when I was in school recently. I’m the only one at work who doesn’t have kids. Only recently have the “when are you giving him some babies?” comments stopped when I tell people how long Eddie and I have been together. My younger sister has said that she’s unsure whether or not she’ll have any, and if she doesn’t want them then I’ll support that decision, regardless of how good a parent I think she’d be. I don’t mind kids, and I happen to think most baby toys and clothes are adorable, but that doesn’t mean that I need to have one to enjoy looking at these things. I’ll be turning 30 next year, and I expect that I’ll be getting the “biological clock” arguments soon. I should be getting my medical coverage soon, and one of the first things I’m looking into doing is getting sterilized, or at least an IUD if the doctors put up a fight. I am childfree, and quite happy to remain that way. I feel comfortable and confident in my decision, and ultimately quite fulfilled. Do you have the same confidence in your decision to raise a child?

Note: bits of this were things saved from the CF community - back when it was still a good place to be CF

Because I’m working closing shift tonight and tomorrow night, Eddie’s going to Mom’s house after work, where he’ll get a decent meal, and hopefully save me some leftovers so I can eat when we get home. I’ve got no idea how busy I can expect it to be at work tonight, since I’ve never worked a Monday night there. However, if Mondays are anything like Tuesdays, then it shouldn’t be anything I can’t handle.

We bought my mother a storybook about a penguin over the weekend. It was an adorable story. My mother enjoyed it so much that she prompty told Eddie that what she needed now was some grandchildren to read it to. *grumble* I told her to talk to my sister about the grandbabies, because we’re not spawning.

I had lots of strange dreams last night. Two of them involved being in some city that had subways, and I was completely clueless as to how the subway system worked. One of those dreams involved carrying Pickle around in a backpack and trying to thwart the attempts a couple of teenagers made to steal her. Another dream involved being in a car with Comrade and having a panic attack.

I need to find a new bathing suit. The one Mom bought me last year was a tad on the big side, and since I’m about 35lbs lighter now than I was last summer, I doubt it will fit very well this year. This sucks, because I really like the suit.

As seen on a WoW forum, a list of reasons why Vin Diesel is god’s gift to action movies.

• Vin Diesel once walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.
• There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Vin Diesel allows to live.
• Vin Diesel coined the phrase, “I could eat a Horse” after he ate every last unicorn in existence.
• Vin Diesel invented cancer because he was tired of killing off people one by one.
• If you rearrange the letters in Vin Diesel it reveals his credo: “I End Lives.”
• There is no “I” in team. There are two “I”s in Vin Diesel. !&$% you, team.
• Vin Diesel has always been able to find Waldo, except for one time. He found himself stumped on the last page of Where’s Waldo Now?, not being able to find the Waldo without a shoe. He threw the book down and screamed, “This is BULL$!@%!” They’re all wearing shoes.” He then proceeded to eat the book and exclaim, “IF I CAN’T FIND WALDO, THEN NO ONE CAN!” The book he ate belonged to a child that he had borrowed it from. The child began to cry and Vin ate him for good measure. The incident has since been refered to as Christmas.

(more…)