I’ve noticed that the more that I’ve used my current camera, the worse the pictures are. Photos taken when I first got are crisp and clear, while those that have been taken this year are terrible. It’s not a matter of lens cleanliness, it seems to be that unless I’ve got the camera on a tripod and on a timer I’ll get a blurry photo. In other words, if I’m touching the camera in way way, I’ll need to take about 15 shots of the same thing in order to get just 1 that is a good, clear photo. In fact, if I even think about touching the camera, my camera will take a blurry photo out of spite.

This week I was debating about the tattoo fund, and how I really had no idea what I wanted to do with my half of the money. Did I want to get my chest worked on, did I want to get something else done? And since I’m completely undecided, I decided to do something in a different direction, and get myself a new camera. I’d done some research on the one that I wanted, loved the fact that it had something like 18 pages worth of user photos to look at in the reviews, and when I got to Amazon to order it, I discovered that in the last year there had been a new model of it released, which was currently on sale for about $100 cheaper than the one that I’d researched. Which is why on Thursday afternoon I will be racing home to play with it, like a kid on Christmas morning.

Here’s something for your Amazon wishlist…. (not really work safe)

“Sometimes I hold it in front of my face, dripping with KY and bung-sauce and I call it a bastard. Then I punch myself in the mouth with it, cry out like the sissy I am, and pretend that I’m being gut-plunged by King Kong.

Then after I spray salty satisfaction, hot as my shame, all over the little teapot cozies I decorate my room with, I pretend that my assailant beats me unconscious with his stinky fist.”

Ya know, I’d be tempted to add it to my Amazon wishlist just for shits and giggles, but I’ve got the type of friends who would buy it for me, for the exact same reason.