I haven’t done this in a while…. here’s a recent analysis of what people are searching for when they find me.

• emo boys - I get several variations of this, ranging from just “emo boys” to “emo boys fucking” and everything in between.
• Blowjob follies - Don’t worry, we all have bad oral experiences.
• silvadel said she - Try silvadel.saidshe.net.
• chicky.net - it’s been gone for a year. Get with the times.
• things you dont say+ wedding - I’d suggest not saying something like “You left your underwear in my backseat” to the groom, but that’s just me.
• CAN YOU MAKE A LOT OF MONEY ON IFRIENDS - Yes, it’s possible.
• who kill Eddie - It was Dr. Frank N. Furter, in the freezer, with the chainsaw.
• “sex with a cat” - I don’t recommend it, you’ll annoy the cat and wind up hurt.
• knob cheese - As much as I like cheese, I won’t eat this one.
• free webcam girls that you tell what to do for no cost - How about you watch my cam and I tell you to go fuck yourself?
• “naughty chicky” and “digital vixen” - That would be me, but I don’t run that kind of site anymore.

Prompted by a hit I got from someone searching for “Fun with Google — (you are Mine said she) Archive”, I think it’s a fine time to post another blurb about what sort of things people are searching for before ending up on my page. Before we get to the individual search terms, let me explain that the picture to the right is a screenshot of the top 20 Google searches I’ve gotten for the month of December showing that the majority of the hits I’ve gotten from them are from people looking for the WoW video I linked to a couple of weeks ago. There’s a lot of horny, easily-amused, gamer geeks out there I guess.

• childbirth porn - I always thought that traditionally, the porn came before the childbirth. *shrug*
• weasel porn - I suggest searching for furries. there’s bound to be a weasel among the cats, foxes, horses and wolves.
• online cam to cam fuckbuddies - In my experience, the whole cam-to-cam thing is laughable because it only shows how desparate some guy is. I’m sorry, but I really get nothing out of watching a 320px by 240px choppy video of some guy dripping white-hot coconuts from the veiny palm tree of lust.
• q tip test failed +piercing - Not such a weird phrase to search for when you consider that this is a popular home test to see if your body can handle a hood piercing. For the record, I’ve been told by a piercer that this isn’t necessarily the most accurate way of checking this out, and to get the best advice go see an actual piercer. Besides, cotton fuzz in the nether bits isn’t fun.
• rainbow monkey princess - Hmmm…. I might have to make a monkey like that.
• WATCHED ME PEE FOR DRUG TEST - You’re testing at the wrong place, moron.
• lesbian porn turns me on - You too, eh?
• noah wiley leaving er - Um, yeah, he left a while ago. Get with the program.

Mind you, these are just some of the stranger, one-time hits. I’ve gotten 5 or 6 hits this month from people looking for childbirth webcams and video clips (but not including “porn” in the search), lots of hits from people looking for for everyone’s favorite God-Warrior (hasn’t her 15 minutes of fame ended yet?), and beastiality of all kinds (sex with sheep or cats, and people looking for video footage of the man who died after having anal sex with a horse). One thing I’ve noticed is that while I get more hits from Google than any other search engine, almost all my porn-related search hits come from Yahoo, and most of them are searches for webcam porn. On a scarier note, of the webcam related things searches I get, most of it is from people searching for teen cams.

My homepage is ranked #2 when searching for “free childbirth webcams.” *shudder* The fact that someone was searching for this is just…. squicky. I know I’m only there for mentioning childbirth on a page that mentions webcams, but that doesn’t make it less nasty, because you just know that it’s not some health teacher trying to find video for health class.

Based on the hits I get to my site, I’ve come to the conclusion that no one searches for anything normal anymore. Here’s some fun ones from the last couple of days.

• babies, the other white meat - ah, someone found this post from last September
• doctor ballgag - My suggestion? Find another doctor.
• silvadel - That’s me, according to my various gaming accounts. Not too weird, if you think that it could be someone from FFXI or WoW trying to find me.
• my daughter hates wearing underwear - #1: make sure you’re not one of those crazy parents who puts your kid into those thongs made for 6 year olds. # 2: I don’t willingly wear undies either, and haven’t done so since about ‘93
• harry potter porn - is this good enough for you?
• maternal instinct and desire to have a baby - you’ll find neither here, since I’m one of those rabidly childfree baby-hating bitches.
• simply complicated mimi - She shut the blog down. Unless you got the link to her new site from her, you’re not getting it from me.

The Harry Potter porn searches are outnumbering the people looking for passes to beautifulagony.com lately. I think that’s because of the upcoming movie.

Pickle finally decided to wake up a little while ago, and has spent the last 20 minutes transporting her soda caps into new hiding spots, one at a time.

We started our 3rd course at school today, so the next 8 days will be filled with nothing but the wide world of dosage calculations. All together now… oooOOOoooo…. aaaHHHhhhh. Yes, it’s just that interesting to spend 5 hours a freakin’ day doing the same match that I did in 5th grade. Although, it is pretty funny to watch people’s brains get all knotted up when trying to divide fractions. What I think is wonderfully insane is the fact that we’ll be having our “midterm” on Tuesday.

Eddie cooked chicken noodle soup and grilled cheese for dinner. As proof that he’s quite possibly the greatest husband a girl could ever have, I submit to you the following evidence:

• Exhibit A: He made my sandwich with white cheese, since I harbor an irrational dislike of the unnaturally orange Kraft Singles.
• Exhibit B: He cut my sandwich into triangles rather than rectangles because that’s just the way it’s done.
• Exhibit C: He’s probably going to ravage me in bed tonight.

Pickle is curled up in her cage, sound asleep after spending the last hour going crazy in the loveseat. She constantly digs at the slipcover we had covering the whole couch, so I took and wrapped up the seat cushions in it and left the rest uncovered, since the seats are the only thing that really needed to be covered. Once I got everything securely wrapped up, she decided her new favorite spot was behind the pillows along the back, where she could pop up randomly, prompting Eddie to refer to her as our very own trapdoor spider.

Eddie’s mother is coming down for a visit on Friday. We’ve known this for about a week now, since she called us to let us know last week that she’d be here on the 28th. We and my mother and Brian were keeping it a secret from my grandmother in an attempt of making her feel better since she’s been sick lately, until Ed’s mom called my grandmother up to discuss things and spilled the beans. Nanny was not amused, and told mom to “kick her son-in-law in the ass”.

And now for some slightly amusing search terms that my site turns up under:

• large talons: I’m quite proud to be the #1 search for that, which is funny to me because it was from my post about being the only person in the world disliking Napolean Dynomite.
• sinus worms: #4 for a post about feeling my sinuses do weird things while sick.
• crazy pee: (#14) To the person searching for this, sorry to disappoint you, but there’s no crazy pee here, unless you count a story about the time Eddie and I had to pee so bad on the way home from Parente’s that we stopped at Chase Farm in Lincoln to pee behind the barn.
• snowflakes falling all over town, slipping…: Apparently this person had the same chorus teacher I did, or all chorus teachers force their students to sing the same retarded songs around the world. (from this post)
• see a picture of my cock: funny, because in additional the complete and utter lack of penis picures here on Saidshe.Net, it was a Google image search hit, and the searcher had their SafeSearch on.
• feline scabby nipples: Stop playing on the net and take your damned cat to the vet.

There’s some weird people out there.