And so, with the last few weeks of summer dwindling away, I find myself calling out of work with a fever and a head so packed full of snot that it’s a wonder that I haven’t been hired on to produce the slime for Ghostbusters 3. Thankfully the fever has gone down without the assistance of any cowbell, however I’ve got a cough that I hope doesn’t stick around.

Eddie was the bestest husband ever, making me a HUGE pot of broccoli and cheese soup with little oyster crackers in it. After dinner, he bought me 4 boxes of tissues, one for pretty much any place I’m likely to sit down in. And just this second, he jammed a thermometer in my mouth to determine if I do, in fact, need more cowbell (for the record, I don’t). He did lose points by taking the crocheted Jayne hat off of me.

I think we’re hitting the last really nice weather of the year this week. It’s about 83F outside, and it’s comfy as hell. Or maybe it’s just comfy because I’m in lounge pants and one of those super-unflattering tank tops with the built in fake bras (with a real bra on as well, because no fake bra can handle my ginormous tits). It’s sunny with just a hint of a breeze, no humidity, and it’s just plain nice. Tomorrow, however, is going to be nasty outside. Here’s a look out my front door. See our happy little gnomes? The flamingos? How can you take this weather away from us?

The other night I had the most insane dream. I’m not sure if I was actually starring in it, or if I was just watching it, but it involved the recently released sequel to The Lost Boys, and involved Corey Feldman as a vampire who was totally trying to suck on Corey Haim’s neck. Now, I’ve never actually seen the new movie, so I’ve got no idea whether or not this is what happens, but I can probably assume that my dream was better than the movie.

Alrighty, I’m off to make my way to the couch to crochet. Or nap. Whichever comes first.

Ever just wake up and know that the day is going to suck? That’s what I feel like today. I’ve been up since about 5:30am because I’ve had nothing but horrible dreams, and I’m so worked up about them that my hands are shaking while typing.

The other night I had a dream that I invented a FABULOUS MACHINE. It wasn’t just any kind of fabulous machine, it was worthy of the capslock treatment. This machine took food and dehydrated it, leaving the outside crunchy and the inside gooey. Eddie told me this was already invnted and is called a toaster, but this FABULOUS MACHINE could also do one more thing, and that was convert the theme song of Laverne & Shirley to a ska style. Can you just imagine a barrage of horns backing “Our way, yes our way!” JUST IMAGINE IT, PEOPLE.

This week has been faster than usual. The first half of the week we got slaughtered at the end of my shift, and then today it was DEAD. Oh, and the lovely week off I had last week? I discovered on Tuesday that I’m getting paid for all of 10 hours of it because of some convoluted way that they’re calculating the vacation benefits with the company buyout last year, and since my hire date isn’t until next week I only had 10 hours of vacation time to use last week. However, after my hiring anniversary, I’ll get my regular amount of vacation, which can be used until Next May. Thankfully Eddie will be getting a bonus next month, so we’ll be back on track with finances, and then we’ll be moving into the new place which will give us even more cash.

And now, I’m going to go see about actually doing something in WoW, since my guild has gone to shit and no one wants to actually do anything. I swear that if I wasn’t running the damned website I’d be searching for a new guild at this point, but that’s a whole other post.

I had the most bizarre dream last night. It involved a landscaping crew watching Eddie and I in bed, and contrary to popular belief I wasn’t as enthused about this as you might think. And at one point I noticed that I had a plant growing out of my right calf, so I did what any normal person would do to prune herself and grabbed Eddie’s hair clippers and hacked away at the offending leaves that were sprouting so that it wasn’t quite as obvious that I HAD A FUCKING PLANT GROWING OUT OF MY LEG.

We won’t get into the vivid description I could paint of the gaping maw left when I managed to get the root bulb out of my muscle, because that would just be gross. I’m taking that dream as a sign from my head that I should shave my legs.

I’m just happy that the week is over. It’s been a long damned week involving drugs that we don’t stock, losers who only want a very specific brand of percocet, old women who call up to ask for their “vikes” 10 days too soon, and talking with the Cranston police department about fake prescriptions, so needless to say and I’m very, very happy that the weekend is here.

The other night I had a bizarre dream that I went to the tattoo shop to get my chest worked on, but when I got there it was already finished, so the artist decided that what would really make it look good would be a few dermal anchor piercings, which he did with a nail gun. Mind you, I was well aware that this is not the proper procedure for this sort of thing. He did a few on my chest, then seemed to think that the nail gun would double as a Bedazzler and was going to decorate the hemline of the skirt I was wearing, thus attaching my skirt to my legs until I pulled the not-quite-anchors out later.