I had the most bizarre dream last night. It involved a landscaping crew watching Eddie and I in bed, and contrary to popular belief I wasn’t as enthused about this as you might think. And at one point I noticed that I had a plant growing out of my right calf, so I did what any normal person would do to prune herself and grabbed Eddie’s hair clippers and hacked away at the offending leaves that were sprouting so that it wasn’t quite as obvious that I HAD A FUCKING PLANT GROWING OUT OF MY LEG.

We won’t get into the vivid description I could paint of the gaping maw left when I managed to get the root bulb out of my muscle, because that would just be gross. I’m taking that dream as a sign from my head that I should shave my legs.

I’m just happy that the week is over. It’s been a long damned week involving drugs that we don’t stock, losers who only want a very specific brand of percocet, old women who call up to ask for their “vikes” 10 days too soon, and talking with the Cranston police department about fake prescriptions, so needless to say and I’m very, very happy that the weekend is here.

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