We need a new place.
Comrade just left. The man is insane, and now Eddie got a peek at why I can’t stand to deal with him.
First, he came in and started in on the bedroom because there was a ripped window shade and “omg get it down!” He’ll be buying and giving us another one. He may have had more interesting things to say had we left the toys out, but we hid them the other night.
Then, he went into the kitchen and complained that the ceiling needed to be painted. While he was in there he bitched because there was a dead fly up there by the light. As predicted, he accused us of storing trash in here, even going so far as to say that over the summer, he looked through our kitchen windows and saw pizza boxes on our kitchen table for 3 weeks. Ok, I admit that there were 2 empty pizza boxes on the table (they don’t fit in the trash can), but where the FUCK does he get off looking in our kitchen windows? Or any of our windows for that matter?
In the bathroom, he said nothing about the fact that the clothes were piled up everywhere, but he did complain about the fact that there’s a leak in the shower door that seems to breed a steady stream of mildew. Because obviously, the warped door frame is our fault and all. Curse me for pressing Eddie up against it and having my way with him! Not that that would happen, unless we really wanted to fly out of the shower and into the towel rack. He also thinks that we have nothing better to do than make sure that there are no dust bunnies behind the toilet, because the toilet is too dusty.
He found nothing of interest in the living room except a large crack in the ceiling, which has been there since I moved in, and the fact that one part of the blinds in one front window wasn’t all the way down, and was slightly higher than the rest of them. And he seemed more upset than neccessary that the chandaleer in here doesn’t hang properly and leans a bit. The horrors! The same thing goes for the man-cave - nothing in there to pique his interest.
We let him know that the hot water heater seems a bit FUBAR because our hot water gets up to maybe 100F at the most, and while that’s not bad for the summer when a cool shower feels good, during the winter we like things warmer. He agreed and will be checking out the water heater. He then proceeded to complain once again about the trash and requested that we take it out at least every other day, whether it has anything in it or not. because obviously, in his little personal universe, trash bags grow on trees and we can just afford to toss them out with 3 empty Diet Coke cans and a Hamburger Helper box. And the quote of the night (in my best typed Polish accent)?
Creestal, you are a woh-min, you should know ‘ow to do this theengs.
Yes, you heard it here first, folks, having a vagina makes you automatically have the ability and desire to scrub your house from top to bottom! It must be one of the perks of having XX chromosomes. someone alert the Nobel judges, I deserve an award for this idea.
I swear to god, if we could find a place the same price as what we’re paying and not looking for first/last month rent with a security deposit on top of that, we’d be out of here asap. I don’t need some anal-retentive landlord telling me to clean the back of the toilet.
Tags: apartment, insane, inspection, landlord, life
December 1st, 2005 at 2:32 am
what a jerk! And… a creep! Ew! I bet that is not the first time he as “spyed” on you… shivers!
December 1st, 2005 at 10:40 pm
Probably not. I mean, he said he only saw the empty boxes there for 3 weeks. But, how long had he been looking in addition to those 3 weeks? The whole summer? Every day?
Needless to say, we’ve brought down every window treatment in the house as far as it will go and as closed as it can be, and started looking for new places. After Christmas, depending on money, we’ll either get a new place or I beg my mother to let us move in with her should I start getting too freaked out in my own place.