As seen on a WoW forum, a list of reasons why Vin Diesel is god’s gift to action movies.

• Vin Diesel once walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.
• There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Vin Diesel allows to live.
• Vin Diesel coined the phrase, “I could eat a Horse” after he ate every last unicorn in existence.
• Vin Diesel invented cancer because he was tired of killing off people one by one.
• If you rearrange the letters in Vin Diesel it reveals his credo: “I End Lives.”
• There is no “I” in team. There are two “I”s in Vin Diesel. !&$% you, team.
• Vin Diesel has always been able to find Waldo, except for one time. He found himself stumped on the last page of Where’s Waldo Now?, not being able to find the Waldo without a shoe. He threw the book down and screamed, “This is BULL$!@%!” They’re all wearing shoes.” He then proceeded to eat the book and exclaim, “IF I CAN’T FIND WALDO, THEN NO ONE CAN!” The book he ate belonged to a child that he had borrowed it from. The child began to cry and Vin ate him for good measure. The incident has since been refered to as Christmas.
• In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Vin Diesel could use to kill you, including the room itself.
• When Vin Diesel was born, the nurse said, “Holy crap! That’s Vin Diesel!” Then she had had sex with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with.
• Vin Diesel is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
• Vin Diesel once beat Super Mario Bros 3 without even touching his Nintendo controller. He just yelled at his TV in between bites of his “Filet of Child” sandwich, and the game beat itself out of fear.
• When Vin Diesel goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
• Vin Diesel can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
• Vin Diesel’s hair is too afraid of him to grow.
• When Vin Diesel does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
• Vin Diesel has two speeds: walk and kill.
• When Vin Diesel jumps into a body of water, he doesn’t get wet. The water gets Vin instead.
• Vin Diesel can divide by zero.
• Vin Diesel invented radical feminism after being asked what he’d do for a Klondike bar.
• Vin Diesel can take one oxygen molecule and split it into 6 hydrogen atoms, 5 oxygen atoms, and a beer.
• Vin Diesel doesn’t believe in rubber condoms. Instead, he sticks his dick in a girl, and uses that girl as a condom while fucking another.
• It takes 14 puppeteers to make Vin Diesel smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.
• Vin Diesel once met Fabio on the street. Vin burst into laughter, Fabio burst into tears, and every passing car burst into flames.
• If you were to lock Vin Diesel in a room with a guitar, a year later you would have the greatest album ever, it would sweep the Grammy’s. When asked why he doesn’t do this Vin replied “Because Grammy’s are for pussiess.” Then he ate a knife to show the seriousness of his response.
• Vin Diesel accidently invented the sport of jousting when he went horseback riding in the middle ages with an erection.
• Vin Diesel is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose’s shit.
• When Vin Diesel runs with scissors, other people get hurt.
• If one attempts to calculate the awesomeness factor of Vin Diesel, cubed by the awesomeness of a badger divided by the awesomeness of ninja-pirates, one has the basis for the weapon that destroys the universe.
• Verne Troyer is the result of someone feeding Vin Diesel after midnight.
• Vin Diesel is actually made up of four seperate men, jointed with cables and a complicated mirror arrangement.
• Vin Diesel once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by yelling at it.
• The Legend of Zelda is based on the adventures of Vin Diesel battling Adolf Hitler and the !@#@s in World War II.
• I once witnessed Vin Diesel take the life out of a goat utilizing only the enzymes found in seaweed. Following this, Vin skinned the goat, made a hot air balloon out of the skin, ballooned to Sri Lanka, where upon which he made love to the French Presidents wife. After the love making, they feasted on the goat carcass. Vin was still blinded by hunger after the goat, so he ate the Presidents wife as well.
• On his birthday, Vin Diesel randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
• Vin Diesel is the only person to be able to put Humpty Dumpty back together again.
• Vin Diesel is the only person who knows why paper can beat rock.
• Vin Diesel can express the root of -1 through interperative dance.
• On his seventh birthday, Vin Diesel dismantled a television set and used the cathode ray tube as a party hat.
• Vin Diesel eats a dozen babies lubed in motor oil for lunch and washes them down with asbestos, and doesn’t even care.
• One time at band camp, Vin Diesel had sex with 12 virgins and promtly ate them.
• Working as a forklift operator in 1995, Vin Diesel ran over and killed the original Johnny Appleseed.
• When Vin Diesel breaks a mirror, he has seven years of free game rentals at Blockbuster.
• Vin Diesel accepts both Visa and MasterCard.
• Vin Diesel can hire ninjas to kill the assassins he hired to kill you. Then he can kill the ninjas with his bare hands. He already did this two years ago, you just never knew about it because he’s that good.
• Vin Diesel owns and operates a tumor farm located in Northern Tibet. It’s known internationally as McDonalds.
• Many years ago, Vin Diesel asexually reproduced and birthed triplets (a daughter and two sons). He named them Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner and proceeded to eat them at various times of the day. After he ate his Dinner, he ate a 12 week old unicorn for desert.
• Vin Diesel has beaten everyone in Hollywood at Uno.
• Vin Diesel was so mad after losing a game of Chinese checkers to Leonardo da Vinci that he punched February in the face as hard as he could. Now February only has 28 days. Da Vinci was put into the witness protection program becuase he didn’t want to be hunted down by Vin and changed his name to Jennifer Love Hewitt.
• Vin Diesel Once ate seven orangutans after losing a game of Go Fish to Jesus.
• If you freeze “The Lion King” at a certain point, Vin Diesel can clearly be seen taking a shit on Simba’s face.
• Vin Diesel graduated from Harvard University with a 10.0 GPA, a major in being God, and a minor in Spanish.

I have no idea if this is something that the WoW guys just came up with, or if it’s been floating around the net for a while.

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