sometimes Always

Best advice ever.

Posted on November 08, 2004 in pondering | 3 Comments

If anyone has ever taken a minute or 5 to read the crap posted on Group Hug, you’ll immediately notice that all the confessions sound like they’re ripped from some 14 year old Livejournal user’s recent entries page. Things like:

i love you matthew, i wish you would love me too and we could skate off into the sunset

Typical middle school crush. Sometimes they post several confessions at once:

I have several confessions to make.. Im a 16 year old male

1- I smoke weed and enjoy it… Its so fun to get f*cked up and do things u really wouldnt do when ure in a normal state..
2- I forced my friend to smoke a joint, and it got him really messed up because hes got ADHD.. I have regrets about it, but at the same time it was fun seeing it..
3- I gave a guy a bj once, to try it out, because i was scared i was gay.. I didnt like it.. thankfully…
4- I’ve cheated on a lot of my tests in high school to pass.. Im simply too tired to study when i can go out with friends, party and smoke some weed..
5- I fingered my cousin when i was 13 and she was 10… i feel really disgusting and i wish i never did it..
6- I cheated on my girlfriend a month ago during the summer.. the funny thing is, Im crazy about my gf, but i dont feel bad about cheating on her..
well thats about all.. now i feel releaved.. =)

Sometimes the confessions are nasty and cruel…

i sometimes wipe the knob cheese round my helmet with my index finger then smear it round my bosses mug at work…i feel guilty but i think he likes it

The posts seem to fall into a couple of distinct categories. The “I’m going to kill myself because no one loves me” posts, the “I hate ” confessions, confessions from straight men who have fantasies about other men, and people who are cheating or have cheated on their signifigant others. But tonight I saw one that was perhaps the best entry put on there ever:

I confess I’m a know-it-all. So listen up, party people:

If you have strange sexual fantasies, you’re not fucked up, just human. It’s normal. And they’re just fantasies…Enjoy.

Don’t have sex if you’re not ready yet. You will regret it and you can’t take it back. Then you’ll really be fucked.

You WILL NOT die a virgin. Someone out there wants you, I promise. Have a little patience, my friend. Find some way to improve or distract yourself in the meantime.

If you want to cheat on your boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse, get out of the relationship first (clearly it’s not meeting your needs). Then go crazy. Do whatever you like.

If someone you like doesn’t like you back, realize it may be better in the long run that you don’t get your way. You could end up wasting half your life on the WRONG person.

If you hate yourself or want to kill yourself, first ask yourself this: “Have I done everything in my power to change my shitty situation, or am I paralyzed by fear?” It’s always easier to complain/self-loathe/self-pity than to take action, even if you really want to change.

If you’re seriously considering killing others, lean toward killing yourself instead.

Don’t hold grudges. What’s done is done. Life is too short. What’s important is what’s happening NOW.

If you’ve done something bad in the past, either make it right, or confess it here and MOVE ON. (And don’t do it again, please.)

You’ve heard it before, I’ll say it again: Treat EVERYONE else the way you WANT to be treated. Just try it, like, tomorrow. You’ll immediately find everything seems much more pleasant.

Now stop reading this crap and go out and LIVE.

Tags: love, school, sex

3 Responses to “Best advice ever.”

1. Carolyn J. says:

   11/15/2004 at 8:45 pm

   Daaaaamn I so hope you don’t paint all LJ users with the same brush!

   Let’s hope someone actually takes that advice to heart.

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2. Madame says:

   11/16/2004 at 8:18 pm

   I find that site to be very entertaining… but I agree about the categories.

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3. Damek. » Blog Archive » Best Advice Ever says:

   11/7/2005 at 10:31 am

   [...] Buried in this post about LiveJournal angst & advice for emotional teenagers (and some non-teenagers who probably need it, too) is some of the best advice ever: If you hate yourself or want to kill yourself, first ask yourself this: “Have I done everything in my power to change my shitty situation, or am I paralyzed by fear?” It’s always easier to complain/self-loathe/self-pity than to take action, even if you really want to change. [...]

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